Tomboy Mommy

Jul 21, 2015 | I’m a mom of three boys. After growing up with four sisters and just one brother, I was thrilled to have sons. They were so cute and sweet. They liked to play outside, climb trees, ride bikes, and play with bugs. They could learn to hunt and fish with their dad. In fact, they could do all kinds of things with their dad, so they didn’t need me as much. Everything seemed to be just perfect.

Then my marriage fell apart. I ended up completely on my own, with sole custody of three boys. Somehow, that changed things. I’m a girl, a woman, a female, a lady–not like them. They are boys, men, male, gentlemen….a true revelation, right? They’re stuck with a girl to raise them.

I used to like to do outdoor things but over the years, with work and household responsibilities, I had stopped doing fun things outside. Actually, I wasn’t doing much of anything fun.

I don’t like playing video games. I don’t know how to hunt or fish. I don’t even own a bike. So I just focused on doing “mommy” things like taking care of their daily needs–food, clothes and a roof over their heads. I figured they would get the help with the “guy” stuff when I found a man. But, since I didn’t just want a place filler, it might be a long time.

I started feeling bad every time I thought, if only I had a man in my life to mentor them or teach them that skill or take them there….. I needed to provide that male role model for my boys by finding another husband, right? Whatever was wrong with me seemed to be making it really hard to find them a dad. I was failing. I realized that too many things were fitting in that category of “when I have a man.”

Then I read in Isaiah 54, where God says He’s the father to the fatherless. Did that mean that I didn’t have to find a man to help me with my kids? Did that mean that God could provide role models through family and the church? I suddenly felt very foolish. I had wasted two years by putting stuff off until “I have a man.”

I started thinking about what I could do with my boys without a man. I could drive four wheelers. I could shoot a gun. I could check the oil, change a tire, or wash a car. I could go hiking, ride scooters and roller skate. I could be adventurous and have a great time outdoors. I didn’t need a man to provide opportunities for my boys. Today, the boys and I jump into our truck with our roller skates or scooters. We play, ride, hike, and have all kinds of adventures. They also go on outings with the boys’ groups at church and spend time with their uncles. They are no longer missing out on boyish adventures. The biggest change for them has been that they get to do all kinds of things today, with their mom, instead of waiting for “someday” when a man is available. I’ve learned that I really like the boy stuff like shooting, riding, hiking, and playing outdoors! These things are a great getaway from my other responsibilities. Sometimes we are waiting for something to change before starting something important–even though we already have everything we need. What are you waiting for? Stop waiting. Start something today! If you enjoyed this post, please like, comment, subscribe and share.

No Comments